Have you ever received a gift that took you totally by surprise because it was exactly what you needed even though, until you opened it, you didn’t know such a thing existed? On Thursday when I got home from work there was an unexpected box in front of my door. I hadn’t ordered anything and […]
“If you think she seems uncomfortable I can increase her morphine.” Those were the words of the caring and thoughtful nurse who was standing in the room as I sat on my mother’s bed. My mother’s breath came in ragged sounding heaves. The nurse and I knew she was going to die soon. Whether it […]
What kind of death do you want? That’s not a question many of us probably want to think about. It presumes that we want some kind of death when many of us would simply prefer not to die. The inevitability of dying doesn’t make it easier to think about desire and death in the same […]
One of my personal missions is to open space for people to talk not just about sexuality but also about dying, and specifically about the ways that their end of life plans take sexuality and intimacy into account. Conversations about end of life wishes are incredibly hard for many of us. Conversations about our personal sexual or intimate needs are often also difficult. How can we possibly talk about both at the same time?
My mother died in 2012 and within a year I was writing a memoir about our relationship and the experience of helping to care for her during her last eight months. For the first few years after her death I frequently had the feeling of wanting to pick up the phone to call her. I […]
Therapists commonly tell their clients that you need to name a problem before you can fix it, and this is just as true for social change as it is for individual change. Still, discussions about white supremacy often make we who understand ourselves as white uncomfortable. We often avoid that language, describing individual circumstances or problems […]
This week I’ve ben thinking a lot about identity and the election. No surprise, I’m sure. Identity politics has been at the forefront of many election analyses in the couple of weeks. Racism, sexism, and heterosexism intersected powerfully in this election, and the voting patterns of whites, and particularly of white women without women college […]